Equality

‘Regarding each other as thinking peers, giving equal time to think’ seems like a very simple sentence and belies the profound effect that the component of Equality brings to a Thinking Environment. It has a specific focus on thinking, but it still holds the broader definition, which I would summarise as ‘everyone is treated fairly and has equal opportunities’.

When we dig deeper and start to think about the characteristics of Equality as a value, we start to understand the weighty concepts that are encompassed such as dignity, justice and non-discrimination. We can’t have human rights without it, laws are passed to ensure that it is protected, boxes have to be ticked, training is delivered, and passionate words are spoken in the knowledge that everybody is born with the right to be respected and valued.

And yet we all know that there is still inequality everywhere that we look. The news is full of high-profile battles that continue to be fought on a daily basis against disadvantage and discrimination of every kind.
So how much do we really believe in Equality, and how much do we truly enact Equality?

If we are honest with ourselves, however much we are champions of Equality, there are many, many times that we stumble across our own untrue and limiting assumptions about other people and their place in the world. We are, by default, products of the environments that we grew up in and we have ingrained narratives about ourselves and others which give us a sense of belonging and value. But those very same narratives often mean that we have a tendency to create inequalities and hierarchies of who belongs, or doesn’t, and who is of more or less value.

It begs the question ‘How can we possibly hold Equality successfully in a Thinking Environment?’.

Perhaps we have to look at another concept that underlies the approach. We call it the Positive Philosophical Choice, but it could also be likened to the person centred Unconditional Positive Regard (Stanley Standal 1954 and Carl Rogers 1956).
In essence, when we adopt its principles, we assume that people are by nature good. We know that they are capable of all sorts of healthy qualities and behaviours like being intelligent, loving, assertive, imaginative, reflective, logical and able to work things out. We also understand that people are inevitably flawed and that this is often because of those untrue and limiting assumptions that they have acquired throughout their lives.

So, when people fall short of our expectations, or when we take their behaviours personally, rather than reacting with judgement, confrontation or punishment, we are encouraged to take a step back for a moment to consider whether we could make a different choice of response.
Could we step outside of our own untrue and limiting assumptions, and offer compassion, understanding and acceptance instead?

We do this, not by saying anything, but, in that moment of choice, we change the quality of our attention… and that changes our body language and our ability to settle back into our generous assumption that we are all equal as thinkers who are capable of working things through.

The more that we are allowed to work things through, the more that we feel heard and accepted and the quicker we discover the flaws in our thinking. It’s not always comfortable, but when we are all in it together, all working it through, it feels possible to face the challenges and to embrace new possibilities.

And even if we don’t really believe it, by faking it until we make it, by acting as if it is true, people start responding differently, engaging more, thinking better and ultimately making better decisions.

Why is that?

Very simply, when we frame it with Equality of time and turns, we honour the thinker within us all, without exception. The underlying message that acts as the catalyst is not that just our thinking is valued, but that we are valued as a person. With equal time and turns, no-one has power over anybody else, no-one is more or less than.

We also use Time as a powerful contracting tool. We set boundaries that we can feel sure of, which help us to feel some Ease. The time limitations help us to focus our thinking with the parameters that we are given. When it is our turn we know that we will not be interrupted for that whole time (nothing says ‘you don’t matter’ as loudly as interruption!). With that knowledge of time to think for ourselves, we can gather our thoughts, sit with them, write them down, discover our freshest thinking to the question posed without the expectation of being right. We can explore, circle back over the same ground, we can even ‘not know’. We can respond when we are ready to respond.

When it is our turn to give our attention to each of the other thinkers, we can really settle in to hear what other people are thinking. Our own thoughts might start clamouring to be spoken, but it is not our turn and our thoughts are not more important than anyone else’s. Those who usually talk a lot learn to become more succinct. Those who rarely contribute learn to share their, often invaluable, thoughts. This means that the general quality of contributions improves, leading to better ideas, decisions, efficiency, engagement and sustainability.

And when we really watch everybody sharing their thoughts, formed and unformed, as they arise in waves and pauses, we start to understand that thinking is a process that unfolds. It is rarely linear, or right first time. We start to welcome the complex messiness and the rich diversity that everyone has the opportunity to contribute. But, oh my goodness, we can go so much deeper and further than we ever do normally. Far enough to reach the other side with perspective and clarity … together!

When we have time to think in this way, together as equals, we can get past our surface opinions and assumptions and see everybody a little more clearly as we witness the way that each individual thinks. We can start to see the similarities and the differences that weave through the group’s wisdom. And the more that we practice giving each other equality as thinking peers with equal time to think, we start to see the dynamics between us changing.
The old assumptions about the way that things work, and don’t work, melt away. Inequalities of hierarchy and feelings of exclusion are replaced with healthier patterns of behaviour, like belonging, self-worth and confidence. People can show up with more authenticity, and of course their thinking is better without a backdrop of fear or judgement.

It is also worth saying that we are not at all equal in many other respects. We are all unique individuals with infinite difference. But this way of being with others can truly be offered to everyone, irrespective of role, rank or ego. It is a way of believing in people which gets the best out of them … whatever their best is!
That potential of good in everybody, that we have generously assumed to be true, starts to shine through!

I also have to say that this doesn’t mean that we have to do everything by committee, or that everyone’s thoughts will be picked up and run with. We still have decision makers, we still have leaders, we still have the reality of systems, processes and resources. But when we are all given the opportunity to do our thinking, knowing that we all have our time and that we will be heard with interest and genuine curiosity, it brings a room alive. We become more connected and take more ownership because we feel part of the team.

We don’t even have to agree with each other, but we are more likely to find compromises and solutions if we can air out our thoughts in environments where we absolutely know that everyone is treated fairly and given the opportunity to think as themselves.

So let’s start enacting our belief in Equality more!

Let’s set some boundaries to make time fair and focused.
Let’s make generous assumptions and let people work things through.
Let’s become interested and curious about where other people’s thinking will go next.
Let’s stop ourselves when we interrupt or talk over someone else.
Let’s remember that when we embrace Equality, our conversations will be enriched and our connections will be deeper.